Most of the people I know who are of my generation are happy, but... I also know that most people in our culture, in their eighties are not. I worked for many years in nursing homes where I saw and experienced the loneliness of the abandoned and sick, warehoused to die. Sad.
I am 86. I am very happy in my life, happier than ten years ago. I am a retired psychiatrist, fine art painter, and author. I am happiest in my marriage, now of thirty years. We grow happier and more in love daily. I do not choose to stimulate my cortisol. I no longer worry about my, or anyone's future. I choose contentment. I realize the power of choice in my life.
I'm in a committed relationship with my wife but an open relationship with reality.
I write music and fiction mostly not based on reality. I make shit up constantly and this might play a role in understanding that everyone else does the same.
1. 39 / 8 / more ; 2. Definitely need compassion & patience in my work ; 3. Therapy & socializing with friends/coworkers/family. Dreading the epic holiday discussions but wine helps 🤣
What type of work do you do and do you notice it's a problem between coworkers? We started telling people during the interview process that we have people who are on both sides of the aisle, all over the world, and you need to be comfortable with that.
Adult Parole & lot of older generation on way to retiring. Even though I disagree with some of their statements, I don’t let it bother me and I still learn a lot from them
I loved my work with the elderly, before I was one of them, I heard great stories. A lot of sadness, yes, but... my presence and my listening was appreciated. I'll look forward to your piece.
6 which is a significant improvement & I'm happy about it!
__Is that more or less than it was for you 10 years ago?__
I thought ahead without reading ahead ~10yrs ago I prolly would have rated it a 7, but I was in the throes of alcoholism (still functioning, according to society), and now I'm not!
__Do you have compassion and/or intellectual space for people who totally disagree with you politically?__
Yes, to a point... I have a lot of "intellectual space" for allowing others to find their way and regain sanity. However, my horrormones don't have a lot of capacity to put up w violence (without joining in), and unfortunately, politics brings out a lot of that in people.
__What do you do to prevent yourself from falling into an echo-chamber of only consuming media that you fully agree with?__
When watching response videos I'll often go to the OP's post (if still up), not to dog pile in their comments (not a fan of that), but to hear them out by listening to their points *in their entirety* to make sure I have the full context. Often folks trim for time, not always to nefariously take snippets people say out of context. Yet, I find a lot of context to be gained in the *small* things people say/do, and so before casting my judgement I make do my due diligence... OFC I don't have time (or spoons/sanity meter) to do this w every video response I see, but if the clip isn't them saying something heinous, then I'll give them benefit of doubt until I know more. I don't like being told what to do or think, and that includes from people I typically agree with. Thus, I don't take on people I "follow" or like's opinions as my own. Now, TBF that comes naturally to me bc of the 'tism, but I wish we saw more people putting forth the mental work it takes to check yo'self before your wreck yo'self.
Yeah, I think the last part is so important. I've noticed myself intentionally starting to follow people's accounts who I totally disagree with, as long as they seem smart and informed.
1. 63/8/about the same. 2. Yes, more so at work 3. I subscribe to a couple of different newspapers (NY Times, Wall Street Journal) and newsletters with divergent perspectives from fairly liberal to libertarian. Most of the non-financial media I consume has to do with hockey. Hockey = lots of dopamine.
Happy in my life, cortisol'ed as F about the future of the nation.
Before he who must not be named, but is literally named everywhere on every platform all the time and my cortisol is spiking just f$%ing thinking about it thank you very much, I did have friends with different view points. Now if folks I meet don't respond to certain stimuli, or say anything that indicates people don't deserve government handouts that were specifically targeted to be handed to those people, I automatically know, that. ... there is a lion nearby. And I. am. ready. to. run.
I do feel badly when the leopards eat their faces, but not as badly as I probably should. Is that compassion? idk.
Re echo chamber. I think it may be a false equivalency to state that I need to hear views outside my cozy little room. Afterall, the other side is perfectly ok with cruelty, greed, and grift. It's not a flaw in my media universe that I am NOT ok with those things.
Totally. I guess...my only fear with that mindset is that it implies that you think half of the people alive are "cruelty, greed, and grift" and I don't think you ACTUALLY believe that that many people are all of those bad things ya know
i. More, definitely. 10 years ago I was dealing with sporadic hours and employees calling me in the middle of the night. I was always on edge. I was endlessly scrolling dating sites looking for "Mr. Right", just to come up with duds. I had friends, but was lonely. Now I am happily married and we have a beautiful 6 month old son. Sure, it is hard sometimes, but I feel so much better than that girl 10 years ago. Friends have dwindled down, but the right ones are always there.
2. Yes. Everybody is entitled to their own thoughts and opinions. Everybody is an individual. Though I may not agree, I am not about to tell them they are wrong, because honestly, what is right anymore? I will just chose not to listen or remove myself if I find I'm getting frustrated. There's people on my side and my husband's side of the family that don't share my views, but I don't dislike them. I just go to another room if one of them gets mouthy. All my co-workers and I share the same views, but one co-worker is so insufferable and makes it his whole personality, that we all have to remind him to chill out. There are people on both sides who make it a mission to hate everyone who thinks differently. It can be exhausting to listen to. I've met great people and terrible people from both sides of the aisle, I feel someone's politics is not their only defining quality.
3. I have many connections on social media who have a different view than me, so I will take a second and read an article or a watch a video they post. That has changed my algorithm so I get different content than what I typically click on. For work, I work for a trade association and we work with so many people from differing backgrounds, so we have to try to keep as neutral as possible in order to not ostracize members, so we try to follow neutral news sources for the most up to date content for our e-newsletters and magazines we publish.
I have intellectual space 4 people who disagree with me politically. I try to suss out people with opposing views who may have an open mind. This is the hard part. I test the environment in public. I provide a current event interpretation that opposes the general belief (in the room) and I start with "is it curious that?" or "isn't it a wonder" or "we all can agree that [insert agreeable point here]". I wait to see the reaction. Is it met with a rebuttal? confusion? agreement? curiosity? It is then that I determine if a short, but open dialogue is available.
Most of the people I know who are of my generation are happy, but... I also know that most people in our culture, in their eighties are not. I worked for many years in nursing homes where I saw and experienced the loneliness of the abandoned and sick, warehoused to die. Sad.
Yeah, I am writing a piece about this right now, actually. Other countries seem to do it very well. The Nordic ones, for example
I am 86. I am very happy in my life, happier than ten years ago. I am a retired psychiatrist, fine art painter, and author. I am happiest in my marriage, now of thirty years. We grow happier and more in love daily. I do not choose to stimulate my cortisol. I no longer worry about my, or anyone's future. I choose contentment. I realize the power of choice in my life.
I want to be like that. Do you think most people in their 80s are as happy as you?
56
8 (today 7 and last week 9)
I'm in a committed relationship with my wife but an open relationship with reality.
I write music and fiction mostly not based on reality. I make shit up constantly and this might play a role in understanding that everyone else does the same.
Yeah that's fair. That last part probably helps a lot
1. 39 / 8 / more ; 2. Definitely need compassion & patience in my work ; 3. Therapy & socializing with friends/coworkers/family. Dreading the epic holiday discussions but wine helps 🤣
What type of work do you do and do you notice it's a problem between coworkers? We started telling people during the interview process that we have people who are on both sides of the aisle, all over the world, and you need to be comfortable with that.
Adult Parole & lot of older generation on way to retiring. Even though I disagree with some of their statements, I don’t let it bother me and I still learn a lot from them
I loved my work with the elderly, before I was one of them, I heard great stories. A lot of sadness, yes, but... my presence and my listening was appreciated. I'll look forward to your piece.
41/F/FL (couldn't help myself)
__How happy are you in your life (1-10):__
6 which is a significant improvement & I'm happy about it!
__Is that more or less than it was for you 10 years ago?__
I thought ahead without reading ahead ~10yrs ago I prolly would have rated it a 7, but I was in the throes of alcoholism (still functioning, according to society), and now I'm not!
__Do you have compassion and/or intellectual space for people who totally disagree with you politically?__
Yes, to a point... I have a lot of "intellectual space" for allowing others to find their way and regain sanity. However, my horrormones don't have a lot of capacity to put up w violence (without joining in), and unfortunately, politics brings out a lot of that in people.
__What do you do to prevent yourself from falling into an echo-chamber of only consuming media that you fully agree with?__
When watching response videos I'll often go to the OP's post (if still up), not to dog pile in their comments (not a fan of that), but to hear them out by listening to their points *in their entirety* to make sure I have the full context. Often folks trim for time, not always to nefariously take snippets people say out of context. Yet, I find a lot of context to be gained in the *small* things people say/do, and so before casting my judgement I make do my due diligence... OFC I don't have time (or spoons/sanity meter) to do this w every video response I see, but if the clip isn't them saying something heinous, then I'll give them benefit of doubt until I know more. I don't like being told what to do or think, and that includes from people I typically agree with. Thus, I don't take on people I "follow" or like's opinions as my own. Now, TBF that comes naturally to me bc of the 'tism, but I wish we saw more people putting forth the mental work it takes to check yo'self before your wreck yo'self.
Yeah, I think the last part is so important. I've noticed myself intentionally starting to follow people's accounts who I totally disagree with, as long as they seem smart and informed.
1. 63/8/about the same. 2. Yes, more so at work 3. I subscribe to a couple of different newspapers (NY Times, Wall Street Journal) and newsletters with divergent perspectives from fairly liberal to libertarian. Most of the non-financial media I consume has to do with hockey. Hockey = lots of dopamine.
45
Happy in my life, cortisol'ed as F about the future of the nation.
Before he who must not be named, but is literally named everywhere on every platform all the time and my cortisol is spiking just f$%ing thinking about it thank you very much, I did have friends with different view points. Now if folks I meet don't respond to certain stimuli, or say anything that indicates people don't deserve government handouts that were specifically targeted to be handed to those people, I automatically know, that. ... there is a lion nearby. And I. am. ready. to. run.
I do feel badly when the leopards eat their faces, but not as badly as I probably should. Is that compassion? idk.
Re echo chamber. I think it may be a false equivalency to state that I need to hear views outside my cozy little room. Afterall, the other side is perfectly ok with cruelty, greed, and grift. It's not a flaw in my media universe that I am NOT ok with those things.
Also, I love your writing. Keep it up.
Totally. I guess...my only fear with that mindset is that it implies that you think half of the people alive are "cruelty, greed, and grift" and I don't think you ACTUALLY believe that that many people are all of those bad things ya know
1. 36
a. I'd say about an 8.
i. More, definitely. 10 years ago I was dealing with sporadic hours and employees calling me in the middle of the night. I was always on edge. I was endlessly scrolling dating sites looking for "Mr. Right", just to come up with duds. I had friends, but was lonely. Now I am happily married and we have a beautiful 6 month old son. Sure, it is hard sometimes, but I feel so much better than that girl 10 years ago. Friends have dwindled down, but the right ones are always there.
2. Yes. Everybody is entitled to their own thoughts and opinions. Everybody is an individual. Though I may not agree, I am not about to tell them they are wrong, because honestly, what is right anymore? I will just chose not to listen or remove myself if I find I'm getting frustrated. There's people on my side and my husband's side of the family that don't share my views, but I don't dislike them. I just go to another room if one of them gets mouthy. All my co-workers and I share the same views, but one co-worker is so insufferable and makes it his whole personality, that we all have to remind him to chill out. There are people on both sides who make it a mission to hate everyone who thinks differently. It can be exhausting to listen to. I've met great people and terrible people from both sides of the aisle, I feel someone's politics is not their only defining quality.
3. I have many connections on social media who have a different view than me, so I will take a second and read an article or a watch a video they post. That has changed my algorithm so I get different content than what I typically click on. For work, I work for a trade association and we work with so many people from differing backgrounds, so we have to try to keep as neutral as possible in order to not ostracize members, so we try to follow neutral news sources for the most up to date content for our e-newsletters and magazines we publish.
Honestly if we could get everyone in the world to follow your lead on number 3, the world would be a much better place.
74
9
yes, happier
I do have tolerance for opposing views until those who have those views become overbearing
I make it a point to watch/read differing points of view.
Keep up the good work
Slow. Clap.
I have intellectual space 4 people who disagree with me politically. I try to suss out people with opposing views who may have an open mind. This is the hard part. I test the environment in public. I provide a current event interpretation that opposes the general belief (in the room) and I start with "is it curious that?" or "isn't it a wonder" or "we all can agree that [insert agreeable point here]". I wait to see the reaction. Is it met with a rebuttal? confusion? agreement? curiosity? It is then that I determine if a short, but open dialogue is available.